Hey mama, book the damn flight!
For a 16 month old, Zaia is earning her frequent flyer miles. She’s flown 12 times on a total of six round trip flights. And we’ve got at least two more trips planned for this year. But no matter how many times I’ve taken her on a plane, I still get anxiety when preparing for a new trip. And lately, more and more people have been taking out their frustration on babies/kids flying, making an already complicated situation, even worse.
Let’s start with the obvious, no one, especially a parent wants to hear their baby crying for minutes or hours on end. The anxiety I feel when I can’t get Zaia to calm down, knowing I have all eyes on me potentially judging my parenting abilities peaks when I’m on a flight. I bless the people who give me a knowing smile or say something reassuring like they’ve been there before. For the people who give dirty looks, I’m at the point where I’m learning how to not give a damn. I just don’t have the patience for grown people who can’t show grace OR buy their own noise-canceling headphones.
I recently saw a post requesting Delta to start adult-only flights. A lot of commenters chimed in saying they loved the idea. At first I was offended, then I saw a parent comment:
As a mom, I support this! Because the stress be way too high when flying with kids. You’re worried about them not bothering others, but with this, I would be like, “you chose this life, partner.”
Now that’s a perspective I can get down with. If people want child-free flights, let them pay extra for it. And if they’re not willing to, then they’re going to have to grin and bear it like the rest of us. Because one thing I’m not going to do, is avoid traveling. One of the promises my husband and I made to each other before having kids was that we’d continue to make an effort to explore new destinations or visit family and friends. We didn’t want having a baby to hold us back. And considering we live in a state away from most people we love – flying is a nonnegotiable.
So if you’re a parent about to take their first flight with a child or had one bad experience and swore it off, let me encourage you to just do it. I promise (in my experience) the trip is always worth the hassle it took to get there.
Here are some tips for flying with a child under 2 (that’s all I can speak of for now):
When your baby is small enough, wear them. We took our first flight with Zaia when she was four months. It was cross-country to LA, about five hours and that was the easiest age to fly with her. I wore her through the airport. (They even let me wear the Ergobaby carrier through security). Having hands free was really helpful and if she was tired, she just fell asleep on me.
If nursing, wear a nursing bra and nursing-friendly shirt. Trust me, your boob will be you and your baby’s best friend. We stopped nursing when Zaia turned one year old and I wish I had the magic of a nipple to calm her down when she’s exhausted.
Nurse or give a bottle during take off and landing. Feeding (either nursing or a bottle) is recommended during take off and landing in case their ears start to pop from the air pressure.
If possible, plan flights during nap/bedtime. Truthfully, as Z has gotten older this has been hit or miss. She’s been on flights during her naptime and has totally skipped the name because the plane was too loud and stimulating. But the last flight I took was around her bedtime and she slept most of the flight. Moving forward I will be aiming for nighttime flights so they’re more relaxing for her and me.
Let her loose. Not that loose, but when I was flying solo with Zaia (yes, I’ve done that 4 times now), I let her play on the floor in front of my seat. Young toddlers are asserting their independence and exploring is a big part of it, so I’d give her things to explore as she sat between my legs. She also tried to crawl to the seat in front of me, but everything was contained and I definitely sprayed her generously with hand sanitizer.
Bring hand sanitizer and sanitizer wipes. Wipe everything down as soon as you sit because humans are gross.
She got a good wipe down after this. Buy the baby a seat (if it’s in the budget). I know part of the attraction of flying with your child under 2 is that they fly free, but the moment they become mobile (Zaia started walking at 11 months), the last thing they want to do is be held. Buying them a seat means they’ll have to sit in a car seat (which you’ll probably bring with you anyway). Strapping them into their familiar car seat will provide them a sense of security and they won’t be jumping out of your hands and touching every nasty thing in sight. I just did this for the last flight I took with Zaia and it’s no coincidence to me that it’s also the one she slept the best on. I also figured out the easiest way to carry your car seat through the airport.
Bring all the food and snacks. Pack a Thermos of milk (security will check it, but you can bring it through as long as you’re with your child). If you have formula, you can also bring a bottle of water that you have to specify is for making formula.
Keep a plastic/reusable bag (or two) handy. I like to have a ‘whatever’ bag handy because you end up pulling out so many things to entertain, feed, or wipe the baby that it’s easiest to just throw everything in a random bag, stuff it in your diaper bag and then organize later. Also, use your own bag or the barf bags to throw trash in and then you can give that to the flight attendant during clean up. Let’s be considerate too.
Bring toys and books. Tbh, there’s no toy that keeps Zaia’s attention for that long these days. But I’ll still bring a book or two that I know can pique her interest. As for toys, the only ones she really plays with on the plane are these fidget spinners. I just bought her these activity boards, so I’ll let you know how they go.
TABLET! I know screen-time is controversial, so do you, boo. But as for me, if a tablet is going to keep her chill, I’m all for it. She still only watches things for 10 minutes at a time, but 10 minutes here and there on a flight is everything. If your child is under 1 and doesn’t do screen time, I wouldn’t invest in a tablet because it doesn’t hold their interest. Z didn’t get to watch some TV until she was 1 and it’s just recently that she actually cares about shows.
Split up boarding. If you can, split up boarding with whomever you’re traveling with. Have them board with any luggage that goes in the overhead bin (so you get your spot), then board later with your child. Either you or your toddler can walk around and have less time being confined to the seat.
Bring yourself snacks! Running around, planning and caring for this child is exhausting. You’ll need to refuel.
Be extra patient with yourself and your partner. Airports are like tunnels of anxiety. Everyone is in a rush, rude, and in their own worlds. It can be easy to take things out on one another, and snapping happens (been there!) Say sorry, ask for help, and take deep breaths!
Pack your own headphones or a book. I know the idea of you relaxing on this flight sounds like a wishful idea, BUT, if your kid does doze off and you’re too wound up to do the same, take the chance to catch up on a show or actually read. You’ve earned it!
Bring a muslin cloth. This is multi-purpose. If you’re nursing you’ll get some privacy, if it’s chilly you can cover the baby, or you can use it to play peek-a-boo.
Pack an extra pair of clothes. Shit happens. And maybe even a shirt for you if your child is in super spit-up mode.
Travel with a stroller. Once Zaia got bigger and she was too heavy to carry, we switched to a travel stroller. At first I bought the Doona secondhand on Facebook Marketplace. She’s since outgrew that and now we have the YoYo Babyzen stroller. Whichever travel stroller you get, try to get one that fits in the overhead bin. The moment we land, I open the stroller in the aisle and put her in, which makes walking off the plane a breeze.
Look for a play zone. I recently went to Rome and saw so many kid play areas in the airport and I thought it was completely genius. I hadn’t seen something like that in a U.S. airport, until my last trip. In the Miami airport, far away, near the E gates, there’s a little airplane play zone. It was definitely in need of some deep cleaning and a face lift, but at least it was a spot for Zaia to touch all the things before a flight for like 20 minutes. This is something I hope to see more airports adopting and I’m definitely going to do my research to see which other airports have them.
Any tips I’m missing? Let me and the community know in the comments below!
So I honestly thought I was going to drop like five tips, but honestly, there really is so much to consider when traveling with your kid. But just because it’s a lot, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. We got lives to live and memories to make!
So where are y’all going this summer? We’re thinking of doing our first Europe trip with Z. I’ll keep you posted if that happens, because different time zones? Okay that one has got me spooked.
What I’m Loving… (for travel with babies & toddlers)
Nursing Bra: I loved this one from Kindred Bravely. It gave my girls great support and had enough cushion without any weird inserts so you couldn’t see any leaks.
Fanny Pack: Really choose whichever style you like, but Fanny Packs are great to keep your wallet and any other important docs or medicine accessible since we all know everything can get easily lost in a diaper bag.
Snack Cups: Giving your kid a bag with snacks is basically asking them to throw it on the floor. Snack cups mean they can grab one or two at a time and it makes them take their time as they eat.
Formula Dispenser: I found out about these way too late, but you can pre-serve your formula amounts and then just add them to a bottle with water when you’re on the go. Game-changing!
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Abrazos,
Jessi