Keeping my sanity as a mom under a Trump presidency
This is going to be a long four years.
The last time Donald Trump was president, I was not a mom. At the time, seeing people vote for someone who was so blatantly racist and misogynistic was shocking. Seeing it again, was infuriating and as a parent, it makes no damn sense.
Despite political differences, I thought most parents would agree, we want to raise our kids to be kind, loving beings. It is impossible not to equate hate, yes hate, with Trump’s rhetoric and policies. There is zero compassion for the immigrant, disdain for the childless woman, and disgust for the trans community. I don’t see a hint of *love* anywhere near his orbit. Still, many people voted for him and many parents support him so I can only imagine what these kids are hearing in their homes.
It’s not just Trump, but his effect on society – the way he emboldens people to act out their ugliest biases that makes me nervous for the next four years. As a parent, I’m especially conscious of how we speak and act around our daughter, but now, I feel the intentionality is going to have to go up a notch.
At the time I’m writing this, infamous anti-vaxxer Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. is on track to lead the Health and Human Services Department. There’s also a planned executive order to eliminate the Department of Education. (like, wtf?)
Whether it’s through words or actions, this administration is dangerous. So for the next four years, I’m working on a plan to stay vigilant and give my daughter a secure and loving foundation.
Here’s everything I’m considering – please call me out if there’s anything I should add. And yes, this list includes things I already would be doing, but this is my accountability to stay the course.
Ensuring all vaccines are up to date.
Keeping her passport, birth certificate, and other important documents readily accessible. (If you don’t have a passport for your kid, now is a great time to get one even if you have no plans to travel. And make sure yours is up-to-date.)
Supporting small businesses and BIPOC owned whenever possible. I will ABSOLUTELY by limiting my purchases from Amazon and Target by planning ahead as best as I can.
Telling her diverse stories. She will learn about Black history, fierce women, leaders in the LGBTQ community, etc. I will continue to reinforce that diversity is our strength. This will be done through books, shows, and songs.
Promoting play – of course this is something we already do, but I will encourage less time in front of a screen and more time using her creativity. I’m not a staunch “no screentime” mom – it’s just not realistic to me, but I want her to learn problem solving and play is a great way to do that.
Allowing her to question things. Zaia is very much in the why/por qué phase of her life and it’s exhausting, but I never want to crush her curiosity. I recently heard that millennials were raised to be compliant, we got a lot of “because I said so” growing up. But for those of us who are practicing assertive parenting, we are hoping to raise kids who are collaborative and critical thinkers. I’m open to her questioning authority (respectfully, if its merited).
Travel and experience new cultures. It’s not vacation – it’s cultural immersion ;) okay maybe it’s both. But either way, we are going to get out and experience how other people live.
Volunteer! When the time comes, I’d like to involve her in hands on volunteer activities. She’s still too young to understand that there are people less fortunate than us, but I think age-appropriate exposure is a must in building up the backbone of compassion.
Picking up trash at the beach or park. Z understands that trash doesn’t belong outside because it can hurt animals. (If a freaking toddler gets this I don’t know why grown ups can’t!) As we talk about Mother Earth and protecting our environment, I want to show her there are actionable ways that we can do our part. Picking up a discarded water bottle or a chip bag is a simple way to get her aware and caring about her environment.
Placing her in a private school whose values align with our family’s. Trust me, I’m aware of what a privilege that is.
Keep political talk to a minimum when she’s around. I also will have to take breaks from reading the news myself. It’s one thing to be informed, but I can easily get overwhelmed by the hardships of the world and I need to keep my sanity.
Prayer. At night we do gratitude prayer and I want to expand on it. In general I want to be more prayerful in my life and teach her she can always talk to God no matter how scary/sad things may seem.
On a side note, one big thing I’m doing for me during this presidency is committing to my Substack and bringing you a fresh newsletter every week. It would mean so much to me if you would like and share any posts you connect with. Thank you for being here! ❤️
I also started an Instagram account just for my newsletter and mom content. Pls follow!
what I’m loving…
Shopping second hand: I’ve made a big commitment this year – to only buy clothes second hand. That, or I can rent them. I want to fill my closet with pieces I love and be more sustainable. I think putting this responsibility on me will make me more mindful of what I’m actually investing in.
Escape TV: some of the shows I’ve enjoyed recently are Lioness, Shrinking, and Nobody Wants This.
Lion’s Mane for focus: I really struggle when I’ve got to sit down and write so when I know I need uninterrupted time to get shit done, I reach for Lion’s Mane. I like Alice chocolates or this Rainbo tincture. Both products really improve my ability to focus.
thanks for reading!
xo, j.